Writer’s block

This summer I’ve written my blog for about once a month. There are several reasons for that:

  • Lack of routine. I just slipped out of daily writing. When I used to blog regularly, I sometimes had to force myself not to blog. Breaking a routine, be it writing or not writing, is very hard.
  • Personal interests. I used to write about some topics I’ve completely lost interest in now. When I blogged I took part in discussions and themes I didn’t want to have any contact with. However, it was hard to avoid them while everyone else kept on writing about them.
  • Eternal September. Blogging was big around 2003 but now when I look at the popular blogs, they’ve changed. They’ve changed in a direction I’m not interested in. Now the themes, insights, and styles are exactly the same as they’ve always been in the old media. Media took over blogs, political correctness makes people wary of expressing their real thoughts, at least straight. I still remember the net before 1995. It was full of weirdos and fanatics and culture equalled Star Trek, but still there was an assumption that people were adults. If you made a fool of yourself, you were considered an adult making a fool of yourself. I really believe letting the others in was a mistake. It took the mental atmosphere not even decades but centuries backwards. No wonder the netizens have fled into their caged communities like Facebook. When the circle is wide enough, you can’t avoid meeting people you don’t want to deal with. 
  • Language issues. Writing in English is still hard for me. I have to write for a while before I get on the flow, but I get easily discouraged, and to get forward I really have to force myself. On the other hand if nobody corrects my mistakes I don’t learn anything and I start losing my motivation. The routine is vital here too. No matter what I’m taught, if I don’t use it regularly for some time, I’m bound to forget it.
So why don’t I write in my native language? There are several reasons for that too:
  • It’s a small country. What you say doesn’t matter much. The only important thing is who you are, what people think of you, and who you know. About the third of comments and criticism consist of personal threats or attacks. The reader base is so small that there are few if any people who know enough or are interested enough to really appreciate or criticize constructively what you’re writing. 
Yet there are reason for writing.
  • Firstly, it is good for your brains. Recently I’ve had some problems with my short time memory and concentration. I’m suffering from an intellectual deprivation, and it shows. It causes some depression too.
  • Secondly, if you don’t write down your thoughts, they become fuzzy. I’m having trouble talking to people because I find out I really haven’t thought out what I was saying, and I realize the real weaknesses of my thoughts for the first time when I’m expressing them to someone else.

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